2016 was far from perfect / 2016 je bilo daleč od popolnega

Being real about the past year ...

The biggest lesson I've learned in 2016 is that it's so fucking easy to be sad and negative.
There was a point in my life last year that I reached my lowest and it actually scared the shit out of me. To the outside world I was still the happy and positive Sonia and actually when it came to my work and school life everything was better then great ... but my personal life not that peachy.
Since I can remember I have been my own worst enemy. Putting myself down, thinking I'm not pretty, skinny or smart enough. Letting opinions of others blur my judgement and overthinking every fucking detail of my life.
To be quite blunt it's exhausting to fight with yourself every day and last year I gave up and let the negativity consume me. And it reflected in my personal relationships. 

The even bigger lesson 2016 has taught me is that being happy and positive is hard as fuck and maintaining it is even harder. 
When I hit rock bottom something in me just clicked. I stopped looking for problems in others and started reevaluating myself. 
Life really is what you make it. You can't change the outcome of certain situations, you can't change people and the only thing you have any power over is your reactions and emotions. 
You decide if you're going to be happy or sad and you decide what will impact you. 
Positivity won't happen over night and in this modern day where everything has to happen now we forget to be patient. Things worth something take time, life is a journey and we have to make the best of it.

So 2016 you were a big lesson and you have opened my eyes.
Thank you and goodbye.


7.11.2016
NEW CHAPTER/ NOVO POGLAVJE 

Nekaj resnice o preteklem letu ...

V letu 2016 sem se naučila, da je prekleto enostavno biti žalosten in negativen.
Lansko leto sem prišla do tako nizke točke, da sem se kar hudičevo ustrašila. Za zunanji svet sem bila še vedno vesela in pozitivna Sonia. Služba in šola sta bili na mestu, ampak moje osebno življenje je razpadalo.
Od kar se spomnim, sem bila svoj najhujši sovražnik. Dajala sem se na zadnje mesto. Govorila sem si, da nisem dovolj lepa, suha in pametna. Mnenja drugih so zameglila mojo presojo in  preveč sem razmišljala o vsakem delčku svojega življenja.
In če vam po pravici povem, je zelo naporno imeti dnevne bitke sam s seboj. Lansko leto sem se predala in pustila, da me je negativnost prevzela. In to se je odražalo v mojih osebnih odnosih.

Še večji nauk, ki sem se ga naučila v leto 2016 je, da je biti vesel in pozitiven prekleto težko. Še težje pa je vzdrževati tako počutje.
Ko sem dosegla najnižjo točko svojega življenja, je v meni nekaj kliknilo. Prenehala sem iskati težave v drugih in se popolnoma osredotočila nase.
Vaše življenje je popolnoma v vaših rokah. Ne morete spremeniti določenih situacij, ne morete spremeniti ljudi, kar pa lahko spremenite, so vaše reakcije in čustva.
Sami se odločite ali boste veseli ali žalosti in sami se odločite kaj bo vplivalo na vas.
   Pozitivno mišljenje se ne bo zgodilo čez noč. Opažam, da smo v današnjih časih izredno neučakani in pričakujemo, da se bo vse zgodilo takoj. Zapomnite si, da stvari, ki so dejansko vredne nečesa potrebujejo nekaj časa, da se uresničijo. Življenje je potovanje, za katerega smo sami odgovorni, kako lepo bo.

2016 bil si velika lekcija in mi odprl oči.
Hvala in adijo.
 

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